Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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