Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
