Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I understand Curling. That high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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