I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i came on her dog
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize