I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
