sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
