it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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