well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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