Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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