this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
