I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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