We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
