matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
