Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
