So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
