I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
