so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
