Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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