I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
