pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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