Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
