doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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