i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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