Where is the hickey?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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