ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
