How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
