Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
