you guys were way drunker than both of me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
