I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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