Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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