there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
nutella sex= disaster
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
