dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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