i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
