Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
