brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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