I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
