I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
