you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
