well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize