I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
