I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
