I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
