well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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