I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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