Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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