i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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