Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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(903): View more from Texas

Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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(817): View more from Texas

he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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(618): View more from Illinois

thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame

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(408): View more from California

She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so you are graduating this semester.

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's like fucking tetris in this bed

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(818): View more from California

Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?

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