I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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