Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
