i just had sex bonerless
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
