So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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