FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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