Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
