and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
