You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
