put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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