Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
